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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by sailor on November 9, 2004, at 12:28:41
I am an occasional poster who would be posting more often if (when) I find success in treating my 30 yr. history major depression. One of my biggest struggles, which I think I handle well, is to maintain a belief that there always can be, might be, could be and will be better days. I am intelligent, have in many ways been a "high achiever" (school teacher, school administrator, professional entertainer, etc.), but depression has robbed me of the ability to relax, to enjoy many things I used to enjoy, and was partly to blame for 3 ended marriages. I would love to read, but I do not have a "relaxed state" that allows me to lose myself in such an activity. My brain wont stop being aware of how lousy I really feel. It's almost like living with two simultaneous awarenesses--one about what you're doing and what's going on around you, the other about how you know your brain/mood state is always trying to drag you down. And above all, you know you are experiencing, feeling life in a very different way than other "normal", non-depressed people. I do not suffer from guily feelings, I do not have low self-esteem, and I am not suicidal. I guess I could be if I thought there was no chance of getting better. As with many of you, I have been a dilligent,at times desperate researcher of psychopharmacology. Lots of med trials, some with considerable periods of success in earlier years (amitriptylene, trazodone) . All of the popular SSRI meds have only made me feel worse. As with many of you, I am intrigued with, and suspect a dopamine problem, but the avenues for experimentation there are limited, and I have not had luck with what I've tried.
The above is sketchy...I offer it as raw data about one person,s experience that may be meaningful to someone.
I live in the Tampa Bay area and would like to know if anyone knows of a good p-doc around here who is up on psychopharmacology, willing to work with patients as a partnership, and is not conservative about trying meds and med combos.
Please post on the board or you may e-mail me at brionkerlin@yahoo.com I'm at the point of for the first time considering ECT, although for me that is a very last resort. Thanks to all of you who share your information and experiences. Nothing could be more valuable to us fellow travellers. Regards, peace. Sailor
This is the end of the thread.
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