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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on September 24, 2004, at 12:11:45
It's the same subject as the last post, my husband and my guilt.
We talked about it at our marriage counseling session today, and that left me feeling totally hopeless. No matter what I say, nothing changes -- except that it gets harder and harder to make the effort to say anything at all. Today the MC asked him what he needed from me, and he said, "Nothing. I don't need anything from her." He went on to talk about feeling pressured to do more and more and more, but not needing anything back.
Well, you know what? All that tells me, emotionally, is that I'm wrong -- which I always know I am -- that I really do have to do everything myself, that there really is no one I can ask for help, and that I'm not allowed to ask for help, anyway, because that's just asking too much.
And it doesn't seem worth opening my mouth to try to say anything at all.
So, since I'm obviously wrong to ask for help, why would I feel so overwhelmed?
Right now, I feel as if I'm trapped in a prison cell, and the walls are closing in on me.
Posted by AdaGrace on September 24, 2004, at 15:11:44
In reply to It's not worth speaking... (same again), posted by Racer on September 24, 2004, at 12:11:45
You must be a mirror immage of me.......seems as if there are more like me than I thought. That is why I don't want my husband to go to therapy with me, I already know what he will say. I already know what the results would be. All I can deal with right now is myself. I am going to be selfish, something I've been unjustly accused of before, but now HE can say it and it be true. I am being selfish for my own sake. I need to heal, and I need to find out for myself just who the h*** I am. Good luck to you, I feel for you, believe me I know. I really know.
Posted by Racer on September 24, 2004, at 17:43:04
In reply to Re: It's not worth speaking... (same again), posted by AdaGrace on September 24, 2004, at 15:11:44
Believe me, the marriage counseling helps us enormously. And not only do I have an individual therapist, but he's started seeing one, too. (Truly, I have a wonderful husband. Mostly. That's part of my guilt.)
Good luck to you. I think we have a lot of company in this sort of thing, but either other people handle it better, or just don't bother saying anything.
This is the end of the thread.
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