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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Sammybabe on October 1, 2004, at 14:48:34
how best do you inform a new partner -- and when -- about your lifelong battle with depression? I'm starting to date again (now that I'm feeling better) but must eventually be honest with a new partner about my ongoing struggle.
Any tips or advice for successful strategies would be most appreciated, as it's scary terrain.
Posted by tinydancer on October 3, 2004, at 9:56:30
In reply to How to inform new partner - lifelong depression?, posted by Sammybabe on October 1, 2004, at 14:48:34
I have always struggled with this one and sought a lot of advice because I have a very "scary" history and a "scary" diagnosis. When exactly is it a good time to say, "I love you and by the way I hear voices?" (giggle)
My mom gave me a wise piece of advice once. She said, "Tiny, you don't OWE anyone explanations of your past. If you CHOOSE to tell them that is your own decision, but no one is entitled to information about your past and history."
Maybe it sounds kind of harsh, but I liked it and felt freer in a way. It allowed me to let people to get to know me first and feel unburdened about it. Because its true: You don't owe an explanation to anyone about your past and history.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 4, 2004, at 19:37:20
In reply to How to inform new partner - lifelong depression?, posted by Sammybabe on October 1, 2004, at 14:48:34
I don't think that it would be too bad to tell someone that you get clinically depressed sometimes, in the sense that depression is something that most people can understand and sympathise with to a certain extent.
I wouldn't think that you would need to tell them for a while... I usually wait till I am good friends with someone before I disclose anything about my psych history (but then I have the hearing voices thing going on too...). I get clinically depressed sometimes, but this is something that my good friends figure out about me after a time and they usually say something about it before I do. I wouldn't think that you should tell anyone before you felt comfortable bringing it up in a relaxed way. You may find that you date people with similar stuff going on for them.
I wouldn't think of it as a lifelong battle, just something that you experience at times and something that may realistically come up at some point in the future. Sometimes it helps to emphasise and focus on continuities with 'normal' experience. A big enough difference in degree can lead to a difference in kind...
This is the end of the thread.
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