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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by moime on October 12, 2004, at 18:37:22
Hi everyone, hope this finds you all well....just want to ask if anyone has any idea on how to break out of this heartache...just broke up with a guy I really cared for, just as he started to really treat me badly...found out he is sleeping with another woman. Even tho his family has told me I was fortunate to get out of the relationship because he has "issues", (my dear sister back home says he's pathological based on what I have told her)...why do I still care about him and think he will call? We really shared some emotional times, shared so many likes and dislines and had great sex. I am baffled beyond belief and I am slowly getting better but why am I so attached? I haven't called him at all, tho I can't sleep, think about him constantly. I long to meet someone else but meeting him was a fluke because I am a student and pretty much have to study all the time. The only time I get to go out is on weekends, and I hate bars. The only place I go to is once in a blue moon to listen to some good rock.I wish he would call and say how sorry he is, etc., but knowing what I know about him, he will either never realize what he has done or will realize when he finally grows up which God knows when that will be. I can't believe I am acting like such a putz. I just can't put it aside. I keep talking about it, still not believing I was so deceived! I am sorry if this sounds trivial compared to most other problems here, but I feel like I am Fatal Attraction or something (not that bad, but my fixation is driving me crazy.) Wish I could sleep.
Posted by octopusprime on October 13, 2004, at 0:24:57
In reply to Unable to Get Out of This Funk, posted by moime on October 12, 2004, at 18:37:22
i wish i could tell you that time will help.
i wish i could tell you something that would help.
boy isn't it heartbreaking, when somebody that your heart was sure was right for you turns out not to be the one.
especially when that somebody seems to be making stupid decisions that aren't in his best interests.
sorry i can't tell you anything more optimistic, i drank too much wine tonite and called my ex-boyfriend.
he ditched me a year ago (can you believe it) for his ex-wife. he says he's happy, they're happy together ... i can't believe it if she's really as controlling and mean as he said she was.
but i guess this is one wine soaked night for me and i'll be over it in the morning. i put all the pictures away and i'm not going to talk about him again for a while. i haven't had a drunken day like today in a long time. those pictures are going back on the shelf where they belong. i'm still not strong enough to look at them.
i felt a lot better after i started up a new hobby and made some new friends after i broke up with this guy. i lost a lot of weight too. so i look great, i have all these new skills, i feel like i'm in demand (in my hobby and in my career), it's a big confidence booster.
the world is my oyster.
so maybe you need to refocus on the other areas of your life for a while? i know i felt like monkey poop for months and months when i broke up with my ex. i went through the motions of life. but then the motions paid off about six months later, and i was able to participate in these new ventures wholeheartedly.
of course i do not have a new partner. which i suppose is the ultimate solution to these things. but i really haven't met anybody single that is suitable.
all i can say is good luck. hang in there. it never goes away (comes back some days) but the all monkey-poop, all the time feeling fades a bit as new interests work their way into your heart.
i'm typing this half for you and half for me. i need to tell myself this again. that i can and will bounce back. that these new interests can and will open pathways that will change my life in a positive way. that i don't need cheaters and liars.
i wish you could sleep too. but they invented sleep meds for just such situations. until the storm passes. i hope you can weather it.
Posted by octopusprime on October 13, 2004, at 0:27:53
In reply to Unable to Get Out of This Funk, posted by moime on October 12, 2004, at 18:37:22
i see you just broke up with him a week ago?
honey, you are still in the ice cream and crying to bad love songs stage of the breakup.
you are entirely entitled to think and wallow about this 24/7 until the shocked grief stage passes.
give yourself a break.
care for you.
it's hard to grieve.
Posted by moime on October 13, 2004, at 6:34:01
In reply to ps » moime, posted by octopusprime on October 13, 2004, at 0:27:53
Dear OP...you sound like my conscience, my little voice that has faded so low I can hardly hear it..thank you so much...it was nice to hear those words this morning...I too lost a lot of weight, started a new job, world is my oyster...but I can't raise my eyes to see all of it. I keep telling myself its going to get better, I guess fortitude has a lot to do with it. I keep hoping he'll call, but anyone so callous...blah blah, right? Again, thank you....I am sorry about your situation, my broken heart to yours....you deserve so much for loving someone so deeply, and thank goodness we can care on that level, unlike so many other people. I dreamt about his boys (young sons) last night who I dearly love, miss them so much. Well, time to get moving for school...
love and prayers to you,
Moime
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