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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bethesdabob on October 29, 2004, at 17:47:48
Bipolar/Epileptic wife of 20 years died of seizure disorder last December, when she passed the Gates of Heaven opened to let her in and the Gates of Hell opened to let me out.
Grieved for months, the last few years wife was pretty bizarre, relationship sucked, she was in lots of pain, felt real skin hunger, met a lady 10 years younger and started seeing her. She's a divorced mother of 10 and 12 year old girls, girls stay with father in summer 1000 miles away, upon girls return she became mother again and our time together drastically decreased.
I still really like her and would love to see her but her time is limited, joined Match hoping to meet some new friends, so far have met nothing but gum chewing floozies.
Is a widower of my age with two teenaged sons at home not undesirable merchandise with baggage, any tips on how to set my sights?
Posted by bethesdabob on October 30, 2004, at 14:41:09
In reply to 52 yo Widower, whats worse being alone or dating, posted by bethesdabob on October 29, 2004, at 17:47:48
Amazing how things happen, went home last night shortly after posting, after clearing my kids off computer IM'ing their friends I checked my email and there was a message from a lady with a profile from Match.
She left a telephone number and said that she would like to have me call if possible, I called and we chatted for over an hour, she lives about a half hour away and we made plans to meet for lunch on Monday.
I am thrilled, she sounds so nice, pretty cute too, said that we have much in common and she is really looking forward to meeting me.
It sucks being lonely, hope something works out.
Posted by dazedandconfused on October 30, 2004, at 17:24:43
In reply to Re: 52 yo Widower, whats worse being alone or dating, posted by bethesdabob on October 30, 2004, at 14:41:09
Hi there,
Just wanted to encourage you. It sounds like you are headed in the right direction. At least you are putting yourself out there...which is the most difficult part. Good for you and good luck!!dazed
Posted by ron1953 on November 2, 2004, at 7:20:26
In reply to 52 yo Widower, whats worse being alone or dating, posted by bethesdabob on October 29, 2004, at 17:47:48
Bob:
Being a 51-year-old divorcee after nearly 30 years of marriage, I can relate to your question. I've been separated for 1-1/2 years. The dating scene sucks. I tried Match, had a few pointless dates and gave up on that method. I went to some singles dances with a friend, too. Besides the fact that that I can't dance, the noisy scene was basically the same as the meat market bar scene. I also felt like damaged goods because of my depression problems and career/financial problems. So I reconciled myself to simply stop actively searching, and attend to other matters. I figured I'd eventually meet someone through a friend, at a future job, wherever. Just when I was getting comfortable with this decision, I "connected" with a woman on a site similar to Babble. She's been separated for about the same amount of time as me, and also wasn't actively looking for a potential partner. Maybe the fact that we *weren't* looking allowed us to see each other.
I'll spare you the details but we found a great deal in common and found love that is better than any we've experienced before. We're helping each other heal. We each feel joy again, replacing the numbness we felt before. We fully accept each other as we are. All good stuff.
So fear not, Bob. It'll happen. But it seems you can't force it or put it on a timetable.
Ron
Posted by trucker on November 3, 2004, at 13:45:00
In reply to Re: 52 yo Widower, whats worse being alone or dating » bethesdabob, posted by ron1953 on November 2, 2004, at 7:20:26
i noticed ya didn't mention any name of your sweet heart... how come ron???
trucker
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////> Bob:
>
> Being a 51-year-old divorcee after nearly 30 years of marriage, I can relate to your question. I've been separated for 1-1/2 years. The dating scene sucks. I tried Match, had a few pointless dates and gave up on that method. I went to some singles dances with a friend, too. Besides the fact that that I can't dance, the noisy scene was basically the same as the meat market bar scene. I also felt like damaged goods because of my depression problems and career/financial problems. So I reconciled myself to simply stop actively searching, and attend to other matters. I figured I'd eventually meet someone through a friend, at a future job, wherever. Just when I was getting comfortable with this decision, I "connected" with a woman on a site similar to Babble. She's been separated for about the same amount of time as me, and also wasn't actively looking for a potential partner. Maybe the fact that we *weren't* looking allowed us to see each other.
>
> I'll spare you the details but we found a great deal in common and found love that is better than any we've experienced before. We're helping each other heal. We each feel joy again, replacing the numbness we felt before. We fully accept each other as we are. All good stuff.
>
> So fear not, Bob. It'll happen. But it seems you can't force it or put it on a timetable.
>
> Ron
Posted by bethesdabob on November 4, 2004, at 11:21:21
In reply to Re: 52 yo Widower, whats worse being alone or dating, posted by trucker on November 3, 2004, at 13:45:00
Trucker, care to enlighten us, sounds like you have some issues.
Am pleased to receive the encouraging words from Ron, think it sucks being alone, feel a big void from wife's passing, realize that having a special friend in my heart will help me heal, think that Ron has found that happiness and am envious.
Hope you find that happiness too friend.
Posted by trucker on November 4, 2004, at 12:14:06
In reply to Re: 52 yo Widower, whats worse being alone or dating, posted by bethesdabob on November 4, 2004, at 11:21:21
this is your enlighting... i know who he is talking about and i have known for almost two months... and i see in the next days post he finally did mention her name as did she... ((((jlynne)))) ps i am married now for twelve and a half years and yes i have found that happiness...hope you find some happiness soon too..
trucker
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////> Trucker, care to enlighten us, sounds like you have some issues.
>
> Am pleased to receive the encouraging words from Ron, think it sucks being alone, feel a big void from wife's passing, realize that having a special friend in my heart will help me heal, think that Ron has found that happiness and am envious.
>
> Hope you find that happiness too friend.
Posted by bethesdabob on November 4, 2004, at 14:05:54
In reply to Re: 52 yo Widower, whats worse being alone or dating, posted by trucker on November 4, 2004, at 12:14:06
Thanks Trucker, good luck with your relationship, wish you many years of happiness.
This is the end of the thread.
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