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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by 64bowtie on December 7, 2004, at 1:52:54
(((AuntieMel))),
Now that we can talk about love at our favorite Babble love sight, 'Relationships'.......
I promised a million years ago to explain my vision that I count at least six different uses of the word LOVE, thus indicating some confusion if the right one isn't used at the right time, or something to that effect. I could research archives, but better I just roll up my sleeves and get at "it"...
1. Garden variety "I love you" invocations, spouse to spouse. (genuine caring without obligation and/or expectation)
2. Parent to child and Child to Parent genuine "I love you dear/Mom/Dad". (familial caring without obligation and/or expectation)
3. Child to parent when child is in approval-seeking mode, (quid pro quo), "I love you Mom/Dad, so buy me that ########, please?" (highly conditional holding the parent(s) obligated to the child's expectation(s)...)
4. My unconditional caring for my 1964 Chevy (bowtie) Pick-up, "Ya' gotta love a truck you still own after 30 years!" (hmmmmm....)
5. Hollywood buzzz, "Luv ya' Hon..." (notice the different spelling connoting insincerity)
6. On the first date, the couple maneuvering around the issue of the man's obvious arrousal, when he says, "I love ya' Babe!!?!" (manipulative almost to the degree of coercion).Confession... I sense that their are more, and I am missing one from that original list of six... Although we may say the same phrase, love has vastly different connotations for each different type of [noun] => people, place, thing, idea. exempli gratia: "I dig your new concept, Man!" (The 'Beat' (generation) goes on...!" 'Concept' pertains to a new idea, while 'dig' is a love likeness, sorta....) The 'Madison Avenue' version sounds more like, "I love your new idea for the e-Market account" Love in this case is more a synonym for 'appreciate'.
Feel free to slate others you can think of and see how they work differently with different [nouns].
Mel, sorry I waited this long.... OhByTheWay, is Mel short for Melanie?
Rod
Posted by AuntieMel on December 7, 2004, at 16:26:58
In reply to » AuntieMel » Now that we have the correct forum, posted by 64bowtie on December 7, 2004, at 1:52:54
Interesting.....I'm not sure if I agree with some of your definitions. Let me try to put in words (difficult these days) my take on your six.
1) Garden variety - hardly garden variety. This is the goal of romance novels - pure romantic love without conditions. Some would call it a myth: it exists, but unselfish romantic love is indeed rare. However repeatedly using the phrase "I love you" in this case can render the phrase meaningless.
2) Child/parent - unconditional - I can't expound there.
2A) Best friend love. Also unconditional, but not maternal/paternal or romantic.
3) Child to parent when wanting something. In this case there is no actual love involved - it's just a tool. Much like the boyfriend saying "if you love me you will....."
4) Love of an inanimate object. Yes, folks, it can be done. I love my '72 opel gt in the same way. And many, many other objects that remind me of different times.
5) "luv ya hon' - no meaning, it's just an expression. like saying adios or howdy. It does, however, have the potential to be misunderstood by someone wanting more.
Now number 6. I don't think this gets a separate number. I think it's the same as 3. Use of the word in order to get something you want.
There is also "I Love chocolate" and "Don't you just love this weather" - none of them are love, they are speech laziness.
I'm sure there are many, many, more, but it's a word I don't toss around lightly so I've probably put them on "ignore."
Weren't we also talking about mature love as opposed to the others. I remember you saying children were incapable of mature love because it required logic and higher thinking.
Mel {the name is Melanie, but my friends call me Mel. Both of them}
Posted by partlycloudy on December 7, 2004, at 17:14:31
In reply to Re:, posted by AuntieMel on December 7, 2004, at 16:26:58
> Mel {the name is Melanie, but my friends call me Mel. Both of them}
>
Hello, Mel.
Posted by AuntieMel on December 7, 2004, at 18:44:01
In reply to Re: » AuntieMel, posted by partlycloudy on December 7, 2004, at 17:14:31
I need to run down the stairs and start dinner.
Posted by justyourlaugh on December 7, 2004, at 22:41:59
In reply to Re: Well, now that both my friends are here.... » partlycloudy, posted by AuntieMel on December 7, 2004, at 18:44:01
what are we having?
i will set the table..pc will you polish the wine glasses?
try not to look when i lick the butter..
j
Posted by 64bowtie on December 8, 2004, at 2:52:51
In reply to » AuntieMel » Now that we have the correct forum, posted by 64bowtie on December 7, 2004, at 1:52:54
Mel,
So glad we coul have this little chat. Of course your posting feels more comfortable than my semi-clinical attempt.....
Rod
Posted by AuntieMel on December 8, 2004, at 8:52:53
In reply to Re: Re: » 64bowtie, posted by 64bowtie on December 8, 2004, at 2:52:51
There I go again.
My father, may he rest (I'm not too concerned about 'in peace') always used to tell me that I was smarter than most people and I would have to learn to adjust to them. Emphasis on the 'always.' I spent most of my early life trying to sound anything but smart....
Now I don't know how to sound smart anymore. Ignore the folksy style. I understand every word you write - I just can't respond in kind. Which is a shame as few things give me more joy than to read something cleverly worded.
But, hey, the purpose of language is to convey meaning. If that works (and I'm not being graded on it) that's all that counts, right?
Now, back on topic? Or topics - there may be more than one here. It is interesting that a word that has so much impact on people and their mental health gets so overused, isn't it. Could this be a byproduct of the 60's-70's? Free love. All you need is love. Make love, not war. To me those were the purest of times. We actually believed that more love would cure the worlds ails. I'm still not sure it can't. I would hate to think something so wonderful led to an overuse of such an important word.
Argh. I'm rambling.
You were also talking - before you were disappeared - about the concept of mature love and the ingredients it needed. Rather than scratch through the archives, could we start that topic again?
Posted by AuntieMel on December 8, 2004, at 8:53:44
In reply to Re: Well, now that both my friends are here...., posted by justyourlaugh on December 7, 2004, at 22:41:59
You lick the butter, too? I thought I was the only one.
I'll get you your own stick. Salted or unsalted?
Posted by 64bowtie on December 8, 2004, at 12:57:19
In reply to Re: Clinical » 64bowtie, posted by AuntieMel on December 8, 2004, at 8:52:53
I thought we already did....!
Rod
PS: I'm a rusty old, crusty old, ex-programmer (nothing in the last 20 years ago)... Do any coding in assembler recently?
Posted by AuntieMel on December 8, 2004, at 14:28:15
In reply to » AuntieMel » ...start that topic again?, posted by 64bowtie on December 8, 2004, at 12:57:19
Not lately. Never was good at it either. Something about it just didn't 'register'
This is the end of the thread.
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