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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 4 to 28 of 44. Go back in thread:
Posted by ed_uk on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:23
In reply to I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Anonymous21 on December 9, 2004, at 2:04:16
Hi,
A good way for your partner to give you an orgasm would be to ask him to use a vibrator to stimulate your clitoris, apparantly it works very well!
Regards,
Ed.
Posted by jclint on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:24
In reply to I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Anonymous21 on December 9, 2004, at 2:04:16
I think your unfortunate experiences *may* be a factor. I remember listening to a radio show with a sex councellor who worked with lots of situations identical to what you describe. If it really is the cause, I expect that a few sessions with some sort of sex councellor (they probably have a more formal name!) would be very helpful. Then again of course, your experiences might not be the problem at all.
Posted by Sebastian on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:26
In reply to I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Anonymous21 on December 9, 2004, at 2:04:16
I would say the rape had something to do with it. I also know that women take longer to orgasam than men. Usualy you have to do it over again right after, and give instructions.
Posted by gromit on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:27
In reply to Re: I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Optimist on December 9, 2004, at 9:40:36
> If you can orgasm by yourself, it may just be the method of contact. Many women can only have orgasms from cliteral stimulation. I think the figure is around 70% of women, which is the majority. So if cliteral stimulation is missing during intercourse that may be the problem. Have your partner or yourself aid in that department and it most likely will make a difference.
My wife provides the cliteral stimuation during intercourse, I'm ok with this but some guys may not be. Maybe you can try being on top, you have more control. If nothing else from a logistical standpoint your partner will be able to provide the needed stimulation more easily. I've been with my wife 12 years and only recently she has been able to climax just from intercourse alone.
I would think at least you are going to have some trust issues with men because of being raped. Be honest with your partner and if he isn't willing to at least do what you need in bed maybe you should think carefully before making a lifelong commitment.
Take what I say with a grain of salt, I am an idiot and don't claim to understand women at all.
Rick
Posted by MKB on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:27
In reply to I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Anonymous21 on December 9, 2004, at 2:04:16
This probably will sound very strange to most people, but the only time I (female) have been able to climax during intercourse was when I prayed for it.
Posted by owenus32 on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:28
In reply to Re: I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by MKB on December 9, 2004, at 22:37:07
I am a lonlely man lol
Posted by Susan47 on December 10, 2004, at 22:48:19
In reply to Re: I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by gromit on December 9, 2004, at 21:13:44
AS I read all I can think about is my therapist, my ex-therapist, my last therapist, my good-bye guy, whatever.
Ouch oh ouchie ouch. Jesus Mary and Joseph.
Posted by Dinah on December 10, 2004, at 23:52:59
In reply to This thread is too hot for me, posted by Susan47 on December 10, 2004, at 22:48:19
I'm always in favor of normalizing and demystifying sex.
Not being able to have an orgasm during intercourse itself generally is a purely physical issue easily corrected with the proper techniques.
Now, not being able to orgasm unless you're alone might have psychological overtones. (Shuffles uneasily an looks guiltily at feet.)
Posted by 64bowtie on December 11, 2004, at 6:03:23
In reply to Re: I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by jclint on December 9, 2004, at 11:47:31
Like, there's no such thing as toooo much garlic when cooking, the verdict is in;
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOOOO MUCH FOREPLAY!!!!
Rod
Posted by 64bowtie on December 11, 2004, at 6:13:54
In reply to I like this thread :), posted by Dinah on December 10, 2004, at 23:52:59
> (Shuffles uneasily and looks guiltily at feet.)
><<< ...please tell me this isn't a "foot-fetish" afterglow?
Rod
PS: No matter. Your secret is safe with me....lol
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 11, 2004, at 9:28:54
In reply to (((Dinah)))..., posted by 64bowtie on December 11, 2004, at 6:13:54
I love intercourse as well, but there is NO WAY I'm going to have an orgasm from it. I require direct stimulation of the clitoris which my husband is happy to do.
I think it's fairly rare to be able to have the big O from intercourse alone. The few times I have accomplished this I have been on top.
But I think you're problem is in now wanting clitoral stimulation when your fiance thinks you can get along just fine without it. How about suggesting that you'd like to try clitoral stimulation during intercourse and then tell him how GREAT the orgasm was, better than no stimulation. I bet it will soon become part of the repertoire. Men love to see their women having great orgasms!
Posted by Tabitha on December 11, 2004, at 17:08:21
In reply to I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Anonymous21 on December 9, 2004, at 2:04:16
You might want to do some research about the anatomy of the clitoris. Did you know the clitoris is about 4 inches long? The visible part is only the tip-- it's the sensory equivalent of the head of the penis. The clitoris extends downward toward the vagina. The vagina itself is more equivalent to a man's scrotum. Expecting a woman to orgasm from intercourse alone is like expecting a man to orgasm from stimulation to the scrotum and base of the penis only. Could many men achieve that? Would they want to? If they couldn't, would they search for psychological reasons for their "problem"? I doubt it.
The standard definition of "sex" is very unfair to women. Think for a moment if "sex" for men consisted of stimulation to the scrotum only, resulting in the majority of them not climaxing at all. Wouldn't that seem wrong? Or how about the other common misconception... that clitoral stimulation is only for "foreplay" to prepare for intercourse. Again, think of the anatomical equivalent for men... what if "sex" for men consisted of stimulation to the penis until they were aroused, then it switched to the scrotum, leaving them unsatisfied? Sounds pretty much backwards, right?
Hetero "sex" needs to be re-defined.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 11, 2004, at 18:20:54
In reply to Re: I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Tabitha on December 11, 2004, at 17:08:21
I haven't managed to have an orgasm from intercourse alone (yet) - but we are working on it!
With clitoral stimulation it isn't a problem, though. What I do find, is that the more aroused I am the more the point kind of moves towards my vagina (which kind of makes sense given one of the other posts on anatomy). Then after a while just intercourse is fine to hit the spot. At least, this is what I find when I am by myself so we are working on that one.
I have recently discovered the joys of being on top. (I really cannot believe that I am writing this!). You can do what you want with it then, the only trouble for me is that I get exhausted and collapse just before... Anyway, practice will help I figure. Have fun :-)
Posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 21:52:34
In reply to Re: The verdict is in...., posted by 64bowtie on December 11, 2004, at 6:03:23
Oh, Rod ...
I'm breathing differently all of a sudden ...
Posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 21:54:13
In reply to orgasms, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 11, 2004, at 9:28:54
Having a vaginal orgasm is possible, Ithink if my G-spot gets stimulated. Which I haven't been able to prove, IRL, because I have no one to prove it WITH!!! hhahahaahahahaa
Posted by vwoolf on December 12, 2004, at 3:22:38
In reply to I like this thread :), posted by Dinah on December 10, 2004, at 23:52:59
Is anyone prepared to admit how often they indulge?
Posted by AdaGrace on December 12, 2004, at 11:22:07
In reply to Re: orgasms, posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 21:54:13
I agree, but I do get so very tired of instructing.....
Posted by Dinah on December 12, 2004, at 14:33:53
In reply to Survey, posted by vwoolf on December 12, 2004, at 3:22:38
Posted by Pfinstegg on December 12, 2004, at 16:11:41
In reply to Re: orgasms » Susan47, posted by AdaGrace on December 12, 2004, at 11:22:07
Well, my two cents...I think every woman, almost, anyway, has to start by adding on clitoral stimulation, either by oneself or by one's partner during intercourse in order to have an orgasm. Then, your brain starts to blend the two things, and so it can happen at times without specific clitoral stimulation. Also, you sort of automatically learn to bend your body so that your clitoris is included more- and, you become more knowledgeable about which positions are the best to accomplish that. OK - time to shut up!
Posted by Susan47 on December 12, 2004, at 22:21:39
In reply to Re: orgasms » AdaGrace, posted by Pfinstegg on December 12, 2004, at 16:11:41
Don't bother instructing. Bend his little bones into the right position and go for it!!!!
Posted by verne on December 12, 2004, at 22:44:14
In reply to I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Anonymous21 on December 9, 2004, at 2:04:16
My partner and I had a similar situation. We discovered that if she were on top in the "reverse" position, she climaxed. Before that we, me mostly, did a tremedous amount of oral sex - well, we still do.
Now, can I be blocked?verne
Posted by Susan47 on December 12, 2004, at 23:02:02
In reply to Re: I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by verne on December 12, 2004, at 22:44:14
Yes, I agree that position works well, but only if you don't mind staring at someone's legs rather than having awesome eye contact .. mind you, as the guy on bottom, you get to feel that nice little ass and give it the occasional smack ...
Now if you get blocked I have to be blocked as well, see now I've
been just as bad.
it sounds like you WANT to be blocked, verne, why?
Posted by AdaGrace on December 12, 2004, at 23:03:12
In reply to I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Anonymous21 on December 9, 2004, at 2:04:16
It seems that everyone feels there is work involved either by yourself or through instruction, and I just don't believe it has to be that way. I think if there is a real connection there.......a real connection with soul burning love that the pleasure just comes, and each know how to please the other without it being a job or being told how to do it.
Maybe I read too many romance novels, maybe I watch too many love stories, maybe I fantasize about the unattainable too often......or maybe, just maybe......love really is like that.
Posted by Susan47 on December 12, 2004, at 23:13:51
In reply to Re: Missing the Point, posted by AdaGrace on December 12, 2004, at 23:03:12
I agree with you, AG.
Which is why we should all have more than one lover, because you KNOW how impossible it is to feel that passion for the same person, over and over and over again ... Which is why couples go to extreme lengths to put passion back into a relationship. And why there's so much information about helping yourself out manually. The whole thing is kind of disgusting, to me. I guess I'm a romantic. What a silly, silly thing to be.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 12, 2004, at 23:14:03
In reply to Re: I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!! » verne, posted by Susan47 on December 12, 2004, at 23:02:02
>you get to feel that nice little ass and give it the occasional smack ...
Apologise quick!!!
D*mm*t!
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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