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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by AdaGrace on February 20, 2005, at 15:56:19
The line between love and hate is so very thin these days. Hate is a stones throw away from love. Yet Hate builds and builds until it consumes. Hate takes over Love so easily. Hatred is the basis for every thing I know about Love. Love is the basis for everything I know about Hate. How does one rid themselves of Hate after Love is gone? How does one find a way to cherish the Love even as a memory instead of Hating the Love for ever happening. How in God's name can a woman go on after such an excruciatingly painful experience without simply Hating in order to survive?
I hate him.
I love him.
I miss him.
I don't want to ever hear from him again.
But I do.
Even now.
Even after all the pain he has caused.
Even after all the violently self-destructive things I have done to myself.
Even now that I have begun to heal.
I want him as always.
I feel used.
Abused.
Taken.
Hurt.
Stomped on.I feel lost.
Tossed away.
Forgotten.Simply so easily forgotten.
Sundays.
God, how I hate Sundays.
New people come and go.
Old familiar people stay.Yet still, I miss him. I want him. I love him.
I love him.
I hate him.I need him.
I feel so very empty without him.I feel nothing for myself because of him.
I know he did that to me, but yet.....somehow, someway, I still think in my feeble little brain that if I was with him, everything would be alright.I am such a child.
Such a silly little child.
Without a hardened heart.
Without a fulfilled heart.
Without a nurchered heart.Without a heart..........
Posted by TamaraJ on February 20, 2005, at 16:26:30
In reply to The Line Between Love and Hate, posted by AdaGrace on February 20, 2005, at 15:56:19
I don't know, maybe the Love turning to Hate is more about our own anger (how could you not love me - look at what you are missing out on!), recriminations, sometimes bitter, (in ourselves -what could we have done better and what did WE do that made the relationship not work); regret (I should have done this or that or the other thing) and ego (our pride has taken a blow and our self-esteem is hurting). We don't really hate the other person, nor do we hate ourselves, we hate what we are letting a failed relationship do to us (consume us and cause us to act out). Who knows. I am so relationship challenged, that I would be deluding myself to say that I have not myself experienced the same feelings you have a time or two.
I am sorry you are hurting AdaGrace.
Tamara
Posted by saw on February 28, 2005, at 7:58:05
In reply to The Line Between Love and Hate, posted by AdaGrace on February 20, 2005, at 15:56:19
You wrote this very, very well Ada. In a way that I am sure everyone who reads it can identify with. Eloquent, simple and eloquent.
Your hurt of course screams from every line. I wish I could change that, but I can't. Please know that I think of you lots and look forward to more solid communication with you again.
Love ya
Posted by AdaGrace on March 1, 2005, at 16:23:46
In reply to Re: The Line Between Love and Hate » AdaGrace, posted by saw on February 28, 2005, at 7:58:05
Many might dissagree, but I still feel that love and hate do cohabitate the same relationship more often than we all want to admit.
Some would say that hate is a childish feeling or response to rejection and pain. But I feel very adult in this. I still feel hate. I still feel love and they live side by side inside my heart and soul. The heart that finally healing, finally the open hole is sealing up. Just not sure it can function normally right now, or maybe never will, but I don't ache as much as I used to. I still dream, I still cry, and I still yearn, but I don't ache.......that's better isn't it?
Posted by AdaGrace on March 1, 2005, at 16:26:38
In reply to Re: The Line Between Love and Hate » AdaGrace, posted by TamaraJ on February 20, 2005, at 16:26:30
Actually, I think a lot of what you are saying is true, however the hate I feel, and it is oftentimes directed at the other person, and his actions, not the failure of it all. But, you are so close to this that I can feel your empathy, and you sound like it comes from experience? Here I thought I was the only one who had ever gotten her heart broke........of course I wasn't, but it felt like that at the time. I find now that many, many people have experience what I have, and that is what makes me keep coming back here......
Thank you,
AdaGrace
This is the end of the thread.
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