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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Shame on March 7, 2005, at 9:23:50
I'm a cubicle dweller. I share a cube with the nosiest person in the whole building. I take a lot of meds during any given dayand I have alarms, reminders, and a Chrono-stone that reminds me to take what I need, when I need to take it. He can't seem to grasp that this doesn't concern him. I get phone calls on my cell from my T... I leave the cube to take the call and find a quiet conference room where I can talk in privacy. When I come back, it's the same 3 questions. Why do you get phone calls on you cell at work? Why dont you take them in the cube? Are you interviewing for a job over the phone?This is a new arrangement. The last guy knew how to mind his own flippin business. No amount of discouragement will keep the new guy out of my business. I have tried EVERYTHING. Asking nicely, telling firmly, ignoring him... We are up to the "Fuck off" level of interaction now, and it still is not working. I have had his BOSS tell him to leave me alone. He doesn't get the hint.
At this very moment, he is looking at my screen, trying to decide what I'm doing. And people say I'm crazy??!! Whats wrong with this guy?
My Human Resources manager is aware of my 'condition', and there are never any questions if I have appointments or need personal time. I really don't want to drag her into this. I try to function as normally as I can here. She has made it a point to tell me that the Americans with Disabilites Act means that they will accomidate me in any reasonable manner, and that if changes need to be made to my workplace, then changes will be made.
I have never made such a request, and I have no intention of ever doing so, but for the first time I understand the intent of this provision for someone in my position. I really don't want to go down that road.
Short of a knife attack (justifiable as it may be), does anyone have any suggestions?
Posted by AdaGrace on March 7, 2005, at 9:27:27
In reply to Keeping other people out of your business., posted by Shame on March 7, 2005, at 9:23:50
Wow, what a jerk your coworker is.
How long has he been there?
And How long did the ignoring stage go on?Geeze, I don't even know what to suggest to you.
It seems you have exhausted all your resources.All I can say is I feel for you.
I kow it is hard to be under constant survelience whether justified or unjustified.AdaGrace
Posted by Shame on March 7, 2005, at 9:41:36
In reply to Re: Keeping other people out of your business. » Shame, posted by AdaGrace on March 7, 2005, at 9:27:27
I have been working here for five years. He has been here at least twelve. I ignored him for at least two weeks. Maybe he is missing a hormone or something.
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 7, 2005, at 17:24:05
In reply to Keeping other people out of your business., posted by Shame on March 7, 2005, at 9:23:50
> We are up to the "F*ck off" level of interaction now
>
> Short of a knife attack (justifiable as it may be), does anyone have any suggestions?I’m sorry you’re having a hard time, but please don’t use language that could offend others or joke about harming others.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by alexandra_k on March 8, 2005, at 1:36:40
In reply to Keeping other people out of your business., posted by Shame on March 7, 2005, at 9:23:50
Hmm. I don't think you need to appeal to your mental health issues to complain about him. Sounds like he would drive anyone to distraction.
I guess I would just say 'none of your business' whenever I was asked a question I didn't like, and 'don't you have some work you could be doing' if he is being nosey or 'please leave me alone I am trying to work' and if all else fails I would have a mental breakdown.
But I guess that is where you are at.
Hmm.
I don't know...
Sorry :-(
Posted by Shame on March 8, 2005, at 6:57:34
In reply to Re: please be civil » Shame, posted by Dr. Bob on March 7, 2005, at 17:24:05
> I’m sorry you’re having a hard time, but please don’t use language that could offend others or joke about harming others.
>
Wow. Two faux pas in one post. Sorry if I offended anyone. No cube mates were harmed in the creation of this post.
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 8, 2005, at 7:38:25
In reply to Re: please be civil » Dr. Bob, posted by Shame on March 8, 2005, at 6:57:34
Posted by Susan47 on March 8, 2005, at 13:05:42
In reply to Re: please be civil » Dr. Bob, posted by Shame on March 8, 2005, at 6:57:34
Nice answer to DB, Shame. I was surprised he warned you about that... other posters have used language like that and not had their hands slapped. What you said was appropriate given the circumstances you were posting about.
As to your cube mate, here's a thought. I think your cube mate may have psychological issues of his own and they're in direct conflict with yours. He's not honest enough to get help with his own problems. Can you tell your supervisor that your cube mate is putting you at risk?
Posted by Shame on March 8, 2005, at 13:23:15
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Susan47 on March 8, 2005, at 13:05:42
Unfortunately we are in the same cube because we have to cooperate with each other on a project. It's a good project for me to be on career wise because its the most difficult project out company has ever worked on. Although I know that no job is worth my sanity, but I would like to hold onto this one.
I'm pretty sure that you are correct in that my cube mate has his own issues to deal with. He is sort of a conspiracy theorist and has some strange political ideas, so he may be a little bit paranoid. Maybe he thinks I'm taking mind control drugs or something.
Who knows.
When you say "Nice answer to DB", was that serious, or was my "no cubemates were harmed... " comment not appropriate? Its hard to convey some things thought net sometimes, and I dont know if people take things as they were intended.
Posted by alexandra_k on March 8, 2005, at 15:06:44
In reply to Re: please be civil » Susan47, posted by Shame on March 8, 2005, at 13:23:15
hilarious!!!
You are a riot :-)
(IMO)
Posted by Susan47 on March 8, 2005, at 19:49:48
In reply to Re: please be civil » Susan47, posted by Shame on March 8, 2005, at 13:23:15
I meant about your answer to DB, I meant that um let me think now ..... it was a nice answer, nicely put, you know, and very funny, but also a gracious apology... you combined it all in a few tiny little words and it was effective, that's all.
Posted by Shame on March 9, 2005, at 6:43:35
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Susan47 on March 8, 2005, at 19:49:48
> I meant about your answer to DB, I meant that um let me think now ..... it was a nice answer, nicely put, you know, and very funny, but also a gracious apology... you combined it all in a few tiny little words and it was effective, that's all.
Thats what I thought, but you know "Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves".
Or simply put, I didn't want to give myself too big a pat on the back for being a great big smartypants.
Super.
Posted by Shame on March 9, 2005, at 9:02:16
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Susan47 on March 8, 2005, at 13:05:42
Today is a day of sweet silence. I lounge in my cube like its a palace, breathing in air devoid of strange odors. My noise canceling headphones at rest on my desk, unneeded and forgotten for the day. My arch nemesis, the one they call CubeMate, gone for the day, safely hundreds of miles away.<sigh> Maybe a nap under the desk.
Posted by Susan47 on March 9, 2005, at 19:54:35
In reply to Re: please be civil » Susan47, posted by Shame on March 9, 2005, at 9:02:16
Be grateful for these blessings ... but I'm sure you needn't be reminded. I'm relaxing with you ...
This is the end of the thread.
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