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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Eileen Smith on March 28, 2005, at 21:52:36
I've been sober for a number of years & my spouse & I are getting a divorce - he sites reason as not being happy since I got clean. Anyone been there? Is there a light at the end of this tunnel?
I've been depressed & am now seeing a therapist.
Posted by sunny10 on March 29, 2005, at 9:27:07
In reply to divorce, posted by Eileen Smith on March 28, 2005, at 21:52:36
I have been doing a lot of reading about addiction because of my SO's use.
I read that life after addiction needs to include activities and hobbies to replace the addiction. Have you been doing this?
If you have, it may be that he needs to be needed and you aren't fitting the bill anymore- he may be co-dependent. Maybe he just really needs to know that you rely on him in other ways now.
And maybe the issues are really his now. Talk to your therapist about this stuff. I only know (and am spouting) what I've been reading... your T will know how to figure out if my assumptions are even relevant in your case.
I struggle with a fear of abandonment, so I know how painful a divorce can be. Even if you're not even sure you love that person anymore...
This is a lot of difficult stuff. You beat an addiction; you are strong and will get through this too, one way or the other.
Here are some hugs to help you (((((Eileen))))))
Keep posting and let us know how you are making out with this stuff...
-sunny10
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on March 29, 2005, at 14:04:51
In reply to divorce, posted by Eileen Smith on March 28, 2005, at 21:52:36
Eileen,
When I first started therapy almost 2 years ago, my therapist told me there was a very good chance that there would be problems in my marriage as I got better. That many times a marriage is BASED on the sick person's behavior, etc. And as you as a person get better, the person your mate married is disappearing.
I have no experience with alcoholism, but I think many times the mate is pretty codependent and enjoys the role of picking up the pieces.
So this is very common.
This is the end of the thread.
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