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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by portage on June 11, 2005, at 23:31:59
so i'm 19 and really confused and going to college and WAS failing horribly but managed to do good last semester and am hoping to continue that but its hard because I'm having what i think are panic attacks but fear are something much worse, neurologically and can't see a neuro for a few weeks and am in the middle of an intense summer session class and can't keep up because my time is consumed with work and nervous breakndowns and caring for my manic depressive mother and just feeling depressed and lonely most of the time. and theres too much stress at home, my mom is always crying, my dogs, four! are crazy, barking, eating my favorite shoes and favorite underwear and i just want to be ALONE, im a very private person, and i feel so frazzled in this environment. i miss my friends who are away at state colleges, i miss jamming in basements and getting good grades and not worrying about my mom, and basically, just, i miss being 14 i guess. i am a little crazy right now, perhaps a bit manic, hence the inchoernece and lack of periods and appropriate punctuation in this post. this is a cry for help, i want to cry for help, my mom is crying though, so i can't. my family is in such pain. my poor dad loves her so much, works too much and im convinced hes depressed, but he's just as private as i am and would never admit feeling blue, i think we all feel like we have to be strong for my mom, and i know thats unhealthy and such b*llshit. and im mad at my mom, incredibly mad at her and i feel awful for that.
woah. i am steaming. this is karazy, i am maybe crazy right now.
Posted by portage on June 11, 2005, at 23:56:19
In reply to i dont know, posted by portage on June 11, 2005, at 23:31:59
since i'm on a roll. i'm in love with a boy i might not see ever again; my sister is pregnant, in her 3rd trimester and i feel so awful for not being involved at all, i cant even pick up the phone to call her and i dont know why. from what i hear, she feels bad about herself, perhaps shes depressed and shes getting sick a lot and i'm not being a sister to her ..i cant tell any of these people how much i love them, and none of them even know me, and i dont know how to let anyone know me anymore. i'm an adult now, and my family has never known me. perhaps i was adopted, i feel like i dont belong. i live surrounded by people, but i live in isolation. i live surrounded by emotional outbursts but mute my own emotions and swallow them until my belly aches and my bodys numb and i have these horrible panic attacks in private. i take my fathers money for school, majot undecided, and get poor grades and disgrace him. i crash my car, he pays for it to be fixed, i fill my prescriptions, he pays for it, i get a traffic ticket, he pays for it. health insurance, dentist bills. and he gets nothing back from me, and can't tell him i love him and i dont. know. why.
i've been getting these weird, large ticks,sometimes spasms, in my legs mostly,and my cheek, and i'm on seroquel- i worry it may be TD.
i cut my shoulder last week, with a knife, i've never done that before, and wont again, and i dont know what came over me. self destruction. but its very deep, im worried it may get infected and it looks like it could use stitches, but i cant explain a cut like that to anyone.
holy cow. talk about my fuckedupness on a platter.
the most intimate secrets for anyone and everone to read, hopefully no one who knows me.
i guess i just needed to share. bottling up is my nasty habit, and explosions like this happen rarely.
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 12, 2005, at 17:23:28
In reply to Re: i dont know, posted by portage on June 11, 2005, at 23:56:19
> holy cow. talk about my f*ckedupness on a platter.
Holy cow is right! I'm sorry your platter's so full right now. But I need to ask you not to use language that could offend others.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by portage on June 13, 2005, at 0:34:09
In reply to Re: please be civil » portage, posted by Dr. Bob on June 12, 2005, at 17:23:28
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 14, 2005, at 23:20:11
In reply to Yes of course, sorry (nm) » Dr. Bob, posted by portage on June 13, 2005, at 0:34:09
This is the end of the thread.
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