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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by 10derHeart on July 2, 2005, at 23:44:01
In reply to How is it to be with different people??, posted by pinkeye on July 2, 2005, at 23:26:07
...not choosing to write on this tonight...maybe tomorrow...I dunno. But, how 'bout we try moving your ? over to the Relationships board ?
Probably won't stay on Psychology too long.. :-)
- 'nite pinkeye
Posted by pinkeye on July 3, 2005, at 11:00:42
I always had a curiosity to know what it would be like to be with someone else.. I have been only with my husband.
I don't think I am interested in an affair, just curiosity..
How do people feel when they sleep with more than one person?? Is it a new experience, or is it the same??
Posted by Tamar on July 3, 2005, at 11:00:42
In reply to How is it to be with different people??, posted by pinkeye on July 2, 2005, at 23:26:07
> I always had a curiosity to know what it would be like to be with someone else.. I have been only with my husband.
>
> I don't think I am interested in an affair, just curiosity..
>
> How do people feel when they sleep with more than one person?? Is it a new experience, or is it the same??Hi pinkeye
I’ve been with quite a few partners. In my experience, some things were different and some things were very similar.
The stuff that was similar was my own response to being touched. Most of the time certain activities work well for me and other activities are less successful!
The things that were different were about the other person. Different men seem to have different ways of doing things. Some men are quite laid back in their approach to sex; other men seem to convey a sense of the urgency of their desire. I don’t think any style is better or worse, but you might prefer one way to another. Some men particularly like to do certain things; other men like to do other things. And of course there are differences in what different men like you to do for them.
Of course, sometimes the reality just doesn’t live up to the fantasy, which can be rather disappointing. Or sometimes the sex can be fantastic but it turns out you have nothing in common outside the bedroom.
So yes, I think it’s different with every man. And I get curious about different people too. And I think it’s possible to be very satisfied in a relationship and still be curious about other men. But if women aren’t satisfied in a relationship, that curiosity might be very compelling!
Posted by crazy teresa on July 6, 2005, at 1:01:11
In reply to How is it to be with different people??, posted by pinkeye on July 2, 2005, at 23:26:07
I never had a healthy relationship with a man until my husband, so all other men were ultimately disappointing... especially the sex. There's nothing good about the way I felt with them; something in my gut telling my what a slut I was to be doing what I was doing.
You are not missing a thing! To me, there's nothing better than unrestricted (vasectomy) married sex! ;~}
crazy t
Posted by Mal on July 15, 2005, at 14:25:55
In reply to Re: How is it to be with different people?? » pinkeye, posted by crazy teresa on July 6, 2005, at 1:01:11
I have had a few partners. All were people I cared about, and they cared about me- some more than others. It was all nice WHILE IT HAPPENED, but afterward, I had guilt, especially when I had been with someone I KNEW cared far less about me than I did about them.
So, IMO, the very best sex is between people who genuinely love one another, are secure, and have more in common than just sex. The very best sex of my life has been in my marriage with my husband, since we had our daughter. I think it is getting better all the time.
Posted by Susan47 on July 15, 2005, at 20:30:00
In reply to Re: How is it to be with different people??, posted by Mal on July 15, 2005, at 14:25:55
(Sigh)
What I wouldn't give to not have the experience of going out with men who didn't interest me, just because.. just because they were interested in me. Self-esteem that wouldn't go .. I didn't know what I had, I knew I had something, because there weren't ever any shortages of men, but there was definitely a shortage of loving relationships, there was a lot of that. If I'd known what I was looking for, it would've been different, maybe? Well, if I'd known what was missing in myself, I could've found the right person(s) and been happy. In reality though I suspect there's a lot fewer "happy" relationships than we even suspect, and more "comfortable" or co-dependent ones than we realize. And those relationships can give people what they want, too, if the trade-offs are sufficient. Whew.
Posted by alexandra_k on July 16, 2005, at 6:35:10
In reply to Re: How is it to be with different people?? » Mal, posted by Susan47 on July 15, 2005, at 20:30:00
Different people can be quite different. Just like how talking to different people, or hugging different people can be quite different. Though some people are similar too.
Hmm. Don't know how helpful that was...
But... In my experience it is true :-)
Posted by alexandra_k on July 16, 2005, at 6:39:44
In reply to Re: How is it to be with different people?? » Susan47, posted by alexandra_k on July 16, 2005, at 6:35:10
Sorry Susan, that wasn't to you specifically. Just trying to answer the question.
It is like how some people are cuddly and others aren't. Some people like to talk and others like to fall asleep. Some people are kind of curious and up for experimenting. Others seem to know what they want to do and just want to get on with doing that. Some people are playful.
(Oh dear, and about now you'll be wondering just how many people I'm talking about...) Not all that many truth be told. But the ones I have have been quite different from one another. The last guy I was with was really funny because he used to out talk me. Hard to believe I know. I'd be the one falling asleep.
Posted by fairywings on July 24, 2005, at 23:17:15
In reply to Re: How is it to be with different people?? » pinkeye, posted by Tamar on July 3, 2005, at 7:52:20
>>>And I think it’s possible to be very satisfied in a relationship and still be curious about other men. But if women aren’t satisfied in a relationship, that curiosity might be very compelling!
I fully agree with this. I am very satisfied in my relationship with my husband, and the sex is great. I still wonder and fantasize about other men. I think it can be healthy, normal, and keeps thing interesting.
Mal said: >>>The very best sex of my life has been in my marriage with my husband, since we had our daughter. I think it is getting better all the time.
The same for us Mal, the sex gets better all the time. I also love to be held and made to feel safe in my husband's arms. I love to sit on his lap and kiss him passionately. I love for him to kiss me on the forehead and play with my hair. And I love that our kids see that being married can be great.
FW/Jazzy
Posted by Susan47 on July 26, 2005, at 21:31:38
In reply to Re: How is it to be with different people??, posted by alexandra_k on July 16, 2005, at 6:39:44
Psst, I'd love to have somebody talk to me while I fall asleep. That's fantastic. I remember sometimes just being talkative with a man, you know? Just talk into the dark, it's a wonderful thing ... very comforting, very close. Mmm. Ah, well. Maybe one day, again.. how's your "love" life?
Posted by Susan47 on July 26, 2005, at 21:34:19
In reply to Re: How is it to be with different people?? » Tamar, posted by fairywings on July 24, 2005, at 23:17:15
You're either a lucky lady or you made your own luck. Families like yours bring healthy children into the world, I think. Keep up the good work ... (although it doesn't sound like very hard work, really!).
Posted by fairywings on July 26, 2005, at 23:28:05
In reply to Re: How is it to be with different people?? » fairywings, posted by Susan47 on July 26, 2005, at 21:34:19
> You're either a lucky lady or you made your own luck. Families like yours bring healthy children into the world, I think. Keep up the good work ... (although it doesn't sound like very hard work, really!).
Thanks Susan, I am really lucky. It's not perfect, but we have a good thing.
FW
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