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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 22 of 22. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Maximus on July 25, 2005, at 1:04:05
Hello everyone,
Most of us are taking a medication which gives sexual side effects. With years i have been trying to fix it without much success. So in my case, i'm not ashamed to tell you, i have a low libido and most of the time i am anorgasmic.
I can tell you that these side effects are slowly destroying our couple. I am married to a wonderful wife, we have 2 sons and months after months i can feel the connection between us disappear.
Of course i have talked about it with my psychiatrist. My wife was there too. Pdoc said: "Sir, you know that - oral sex, masturbation, tenderness, attention, phantasm - exist". Of course silly, i'm not a robot!!!
Now i try to avoid the subject with her. I avoid sometimes to go to bed with her. Sometimes i get hope. It works but not that much. She's cooperative and lovely because another type of woman would have left me long before.
Do any of you live this infernal problem?
Posted by crazy teresa on July 25, 2005, at 18:06:53
In reply to Dealing with Anorgasmia, posted by Maximus on July 25, 2005, at 1:04:05
Mon petite chou!
Even if you don't believe, I will tell you that surely God has a twisted and bizzare sense of humor if you and I (seemingly the horniest babblers) both have this problem!
I know you are scientific, but you are not a woman. The connection could be lessening because you are avoiding her, not because of any inabilities. She may feel that you are punishing her by avoiding going to bed with her (no matter what you tell her.) Being separated from your lovely wife can't be helping eihter of your mindsets. I'm sure that she wants you in bed with her no matter what! Curl up with her, suck on her neck, purr to her in french and re-establish the connection, nothing else required! You are more than just a penis and I'm sure your wife is still with you for many, many reasons!!!
Now I will have to go find a brick wall to bang my head against repeatedly, as I have encouraged your relationship with your wife and not myself! ;~}
crazy t
Posted by Maximus on July 25, 2005, at 19:36:13
In reply to Re: Dealing with Anorgasmia » Maximus, posted by crazy teresa on July 25, 2005, at 18:06:53
> Now I will have to go find a brick wall to bang my head against repeatedly, as I have encouraged your relationship with your wife and not myself! ;~}
Hé! Hé! Please don't do that sweet heart ;-) Thanks for the positive notes. And you, how do you deal with the anorgasmia?
Posted by Mal on July 25, 2005, at 20:13:40
In reply to Re: Dealing with Anorgasmia » crazy teresa, posted by Maximus on July 25, 2005, at 19:36:13
I have to agree with Teresa. If you aren't having any affectionate gestures toward your wife, she may feel punished, and pushed away. There are several other great fun things to do to show affection that don't involve a penis or male orgasms.
I am sorry I can't help you cope with anorgasmia, but I think the connection in your relationship can be reestablished.
Wishing you the best...
MAL
Posted by ed_uk on July 26, 2005, at 15:52:49
In reply to Re: Dealing with Anorgasmia » Maximus, posted by crazy teresa on July 25, 2005, at 18:06:53
>Now I will have to go find a brick wall to bang my head against repeatedly, as I have encouraged your relationship with your wife and not myself! ;~}
Golly gosh!
~Ed
Posted by Maximus on July 26, 2005, at 16:06:03
In reply to Dealing with Anorgasmia, posted by Maximus on July 25, 2005, at 1:04:05
Posted by fairywings on July 26, 2005, at 21:22:15
In reply to Dealing with Anorgasmia, posted by Maximus on July 25, 2005, at 1:04:05
I would guess you and your wife have talked about it Maxi? Maybe couples therapy? What about a 2nd opinion from a p-doc who specializes in sex therapy? Someone who'd understand the meds.
I have to agree with teresa, being unconditionally loving and affectionate will go a long way with women, much moreso than mad passionate sex. I would be crushed by rejection, but not by inability.
I love to be held, hugged, have my man hold me close and talk softy to me, play with my hair, kiss me on the forehead, kiss me passionately and erotically, and not necessarily have it lead to bed!
I hope you can find a way to deal with this and not have it crush your ego.
FW
Posted by Maximus on July 27, 2005, at 11:52:33
In reply to Re: Dealing with Anorgasmia, posted by fairywings on July 26, 2005, at 21:22:15
> I would guess you and your wife have talked about it Maxi? Maybe couples therapy? What about a 2nd opinion from a p-doc who specializes in sex therapy? Someone who'd understand the meds.
Thanks Jazzed, i would think about it. But before that, i'm going to try a new combo of meds.
Posted by Maximus on July 27, 2005, at 12:05:00
In reply to Dealing with Anorgasmia, posted by Maximus on July 25, 2005, at 1:04:05
Well i guess this thread is a total failure. I did not express myself correctly, sigh. I just wanted that we SHARE our problems/solutions between us. It appears i am almost alone to deal with this infamous side effect.
Anyway, thanks for your kind advices.
Posted by caraher on July 27, 2005, at 14:16:30
In reply to Re: I bet i'm alone :-(, posted by Maximus on July 27, 2005, at 12:05:00
I'd had low libido on a long-term basis, as have a lot (most? nearly all?) of us on meds. Anorgasmia I've experienced but on maybe 2-3 occasions, not chronically. And when it has happened, I didn't worry about it... I basically thought, "that was odd" and moved on.
I'm sure it's immensely frustrating to have that as a chronic condition. I'm also sure you're not alone at all; you just haven't yet found anyone else among the small fraction of the population who both read and post to babble.
Posted by happyflower on July 27, 2005, at 17:25:45
In reply to Dealing with Anorgasmia, posted by Maximus on July 25, 2005, at 1:04:05
How old are you? I know men who get older lose hormones too (which cause no interest in sex), there is help for that. Have you asked about Viagra? Is that something you can take?
Posted by Maximus on July 27, 2005, at 18:01:42
In reply to Re: Dealing with Anorgasmia, posted by happyflower on July 27, 2005, at 17:25:45
> How old are you? I know men who get older lose hormones too (which cause no interest in sex), there is help for that. Have you asked about Viagra? Is that something you can take?
I am 37 years old. Testosterone makes a lot of sense. Viagra? No because i don't have erection's problems. It is purely related to the medication i take.
Thanks!
Posted by happyflower on July 27, 2005, at 19:47:36
In reply to Re: Dealing with Anorgasmia » happyflower, posted by Maximus on July 27, 2005, at 18:01:42
> > How old are you? I know men who get older lose hormones too (which cause no interest in sex), there is help for that. Have you asked about Viagra? Is that something you can take?
>
> I am 37 years old. Testosterone makes a lot of sense. Viagra? No because i don't have erection's problems. It is purely related to the medication i take.Well I learned this from my T, of all people! lol The closer you get to 40, your testosterone drops espeically around 50. I would talk to your doctor about it, it seems like there is something you could try. Good luck, and give that wife of yours some snuggle time, you need it too! :)
> Thanks!
Posted by Maximus on July 28, 2005, at 15:45:30
In reply to Dealing with Anorgasmia, posted by Maximus on July 25, 2005, at 1:04:05
Ok, there has been some developpement and i want to share it with you. We have increased the Effexor XR from 150 mg to 225 mg. Oddly enough, my libido has returned. Yeah! According to my pdoc, NE and DA reuptake are more pronounced at this dose. Sorry to be so litteral but my libido and erection were ok. We can use the right words, right?
Then i have decided to add the herb Ginkgo Biloba. I have been taking 2 caps of Ginkgo for 3 days. My hability to have an orgasm is now at 50-60%. The only side effect i get from Ginkgo is a mild headache in the afternoon, may be hypertension?
While i'm not angry anymore i'm still not satisfied at 100%. But at least, Miss and Sir Max are happier ;-) I'm continuing my quest...
Next step, Androgel ;-) lol
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 28, 2005, at 20:54:42
In reply to Re: Anorgasmia is a bit better now..., posted by Maximus on July 28, 2005, at 15:45:30
> ""http://www.androgel.com/""
FYI, for a URL, you don't need the double double quotes, those are for books, etc....
Bob
Posted by Mal on July 29, 2005, at 7:20:41
In reply to Re: Anorgasmia is a bit better now..., posted by Maximus on July 28, 2005, at 15:45:30
So glad you are doing better!! Yahoo!! Keep after it and I am sure you will find a combination that works!
MAL
Posted by Tamar on July 31, 2005, at 18:07:16
In reply to Re: Anorgasmia is a bit better now..., posted by Maximus on July 28, 2005, at 15:45:30
I'm glad to hear things are improving.
I've gone through periods of anorgasmia, but I wasn't sure if I could add much to this thread, as I'm not on meds and don't have a penis (I've got other cool stuff though...)
I know that people often advise women with anorgasmia to try a vibrator. Have you thought of that? Obviously, you'd be using it in a slightly different place... I'm wondering if a bit of prostate action would help.
You probably know this, but you have to be careful with vibrators if you're using them in your *ss. They can get... ahem... assimilated. So don’t let go of the end! You can buy vibrating butt plugs, but I haven’t seen any with variable speeds, and I would think a low speed might be more useful (I don’t know why I think that; it’s just a hunch). However, I’m not an expert, and maybe there are all kinds of butt plugs that I know nothing about. Do you have any gay friends you can ask?
Like others here, I’d agree that some quality naked time with your partner is essential, even if it can be a bit frustrating for you. I think it’s important to keep the intimacy alive while you work on the other issues. If you can find some pleasure by keeping her satisfied, then you’ll probably manage the frustration better.
Wishing you many orgasms…
Tamar
Posted by crazy teresa on August 3, 2005, at 22:59:35
In reply to Re: Anorgasmia ***graphic*** » Maximus, posted by Tamar on July 31, 2005, at 18:07:16
No offense intended Tamar, I found your post too funny! Especially the part where you said, "I’m not an expert, and maybe there are all kinds of butt plugs that I know nothing about." I didn't know anything about them and am happy to have been enlightened!!!! ;~}
crazy t
Posted by Tamar on August 4, 2005, at 6:29:19
In reply to HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! » Tamar, posted by crazy teresa on August 3, 2005, at 22:59:35
> No offense intended Tamar, I found your post too funny! Especially the part where you said, "I’m not an expert, and maybe there are all kinds of butt plugs that I know nothing about." I didn't know anything about them and am happy to have been enlightened!!!! ;~}
I have quite a few gay friends so that's how I found out about them! In fact, one of my friends gave me a butt plug for Christmas ("Just the thing I need - how nice!")...
However, I was pregnant at the time, so I wasn't overly keen to take it out of its box...Tamar
Posted by crazy teresa on August 4, 2005, at 7:16:48
In reply to Re: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!, posted by Tamar on August 4, 2005, at 6:29:19
I'm going to ask mine today if they have any! I can hardly wait to go to work!!!
Posted by crazy teresa on August 5, 2005, at 18:08:03
In reply to Re: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! » Tamar, posted by crazy teresa on August 4, 2005, at 7:16:48
Posted by Maximus on August 6, 2005, at 4:42:01
In reply to Maximus, mon petit chou, where are you????? (nm), posted by crazy teresa on August 5, 2005, at 18:08:03
This is the end of the thread.
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