Psycho-Babble Relationships Thread 572677

Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

sick of sex.....

Posted by alesta on October 28, 2005, at 10:30:23

my bf thinks about sex all the time. it's all he wants to talk about or do. i am bored with this relationship, as we hardly ever talk about ourselves or anything..i understand sex dominates men's minds, but this much? i am sick of it! like, i want him to enjoy romantic feelings and talks with me...the enjoyableness of just being together, ya know? but he can't just talk about us..he has to talk about us having sex. i am so tired of talking about sex. it bores me now. i want him to be interested *me*, not just having sex with me! is this normal for a 3-month relationship, or is he a jerk?? also, we were going to get a hotel room sunday and he said i had to have my clothes off the whole time. like it was an order or something practically. i questioned him on it and he just said "well, you did it before" blah blah and i was like "well, we should play it by ear, ya know"...that was only for a couple hours though before. this would be for an entire day (at the hotel room)! it reminds me of that sheila e. song..i think it's called "strut". strut out put it out that's what you want from women......watch me baby while i walk out the dooor.....

signed,
hating sex!!

 

Re: sick of sex.....

Posted by caraher on October 28, 2005, at 10:55:32

In reply to sick of sex....., posted by alesta on October 28, 2005, at 10:30:23

Sounds like you need to break up. You don't seem to enjoy being around him much at all.

Or is your poat an exaggeration of his sex obsession and your boredom?

 

Better question to ask yourself:

Posted by crazy teresa on October 28, 2005, at 11:05:30

In reply to sick of sex....., posted by alesta on October 28, 2005, at 10:30:23

Why would you allow a man to use your body as a object?

If that's all he wants he has a hand...

 

Re: sick of sex..... » alesta

Posted by Tamar on October 28, 2005, at 11:08:26

In reply to sick of sex....., posted by alesta on October 28, 2005, at 10:30:23

If what you want is a relationship and all you’re getting is sex, then maybe it’s time to think about why you’re with him. I guess it’s a matter of preference. I personally prefer to have sex with people I can also be friends with…

And I’m not sure I’d like to be *ordered* to have my clothes off the whole time. I prefer it if my partner suggests things… If my partner suggested an entire day naked in a hotel room I’d jump at the chance (but we have three kids and the opportunity to spend an entire day having sex is just a fantasy…). If it doesn’t appeal to you, then you don’t have to do it.

Is the sex actually good? I can imagine if it’s not very satisfying it could get tedious…

Tamar

 

Re: sick of sex..... » caraher

Posted by alesta on October 28, 2005, at 11:10:16

In reply to Re: sick of sex....., posted by caraher on October 28, 2005, at 10:55:32

> Sounds like you need to break up. You don't seem to enjoy being around him much at all.
>
> Or is your poat an exaggeration of his sex obsession and your boredom?

hi there, and thanks for responding!..hmmm...good questions. i don't *think* i'm exaggerating, lol. i have my moments where i enjoy him, but probably not enough, or maybe just not often enough. it's like i'm the rat that keeps hitting the cocaine lever just waiting for that one good hit. i guess the relationship is pretty unfulfilling. i don't *think* i'm exaggerating.:) we fight a lot, too..he is not easy to be with...gives me a hard time a lot. yet i still want to be with him when i'm not with him...not sure why. i have thought of breaking up numerous times. i think i will..it's inevitable. just now *now*, lol...too stressful..and i live in the same building w/ him..he would make life miserable for me, too, i'm guessing. (i know that's not a reason to stay together...)

amy
:)

 

Re: Better question to ask yourself: » crazy teresa

Posted by alesta on October 28, 2005, at 11:22:47

In reply to Better question to ask yourself:, posted by crazy teresa on October 28, 2005, at 11:05:30

> Why would you allow a man to use your body as a object?
>
> If that's all he wants he has a hand...
>
>

well, b/c i'm confused! lol i don't know if this is normal! i hope i'm not exaggerating...i'm just bloody confused.

thanks!! gotta figure this out. it's hard to convey a relationship sometimes...i don't know how he has me so confused!!:)

:) amy

 

Re: sick of sex..... » Tamar

Posted by alesta on October 28, 2005, at 11:31:06

In reply to Re: sick of sex..... » alesta, posted by Tamar on October 28, 2005, at 11:08:26

> If what you want is a relationship and all you’re getting is sex, then maybe it’s time to think about why you’re with him. I guess it’s a matter of preference. I personally prefer to have sex with people I can also be friends with…

OMG EXACTLY! the thing is..i used to feel he was my best friend..that's why i picked him!! the great rapport...we seemed compatible..it was great. maybe that was all just a game on his part to get me. what a f#$%$$#%ed up game. it's like he was a totally different person. the friendship is GONE. now he's all about sex. i used to love our talks...we'd talk for hours. i kind of feel like it was all a lie. he is not the same at all. i really think he is a narcissist. they are good at sucking you in. although he never really did convince me he ever *cared*. so that hasn't changed.

>
> And I’m not sure I’d like to be *ordered* to have my clothes off the whole time.

me either

<I prefer it if my partner suggests things… If my partner suggested an entire day naked in a hotel room I’d jump at the chance (but we have three kids and the opportunity to spend an entire day having sex is just a fantasy…). If it doesn’t appeal to you, then you don’t have to do it.

i know....still thinking about it...

> Is the sex actually good? I can imagine if it’s not very satisfying it could get tedious…

well, yeah, it's mostly good...he just somehow manages to turn me off to it cause i need to feel that connection with a person before i want to have sex w/ them. it's hard to get into it otherwise...


> Tamar

thanks tamar.:_) some excellent for thought... i most appreciate your input...:)

amy:)

 

Re: sick of sex.....

Posted by caraher on October 28, 2005, at 15:05:19

In reply to Re: sick of sex..... » Tamar, posted by alesta on October 28, 2005, at 11:31:06

>i used to love our talks...we'd talk for hours. i kind of feel like it was all a lie. he is not the same at all.

Speaking of "what's normal..." I think it is "normal" that after a while these multi-hour talks fade away. After 3 months... well, something like them should still happen sometimes at least!

And crazy theresa's remark about his hand is a good point. The odds of any two people in any sexual relationship having just the same level of interest is quite small, so it's good if people can find ways to satisfy themselves at least occasionally!

 

Re: sick of sex..... » alesta

Posted by Bobby on October 28, 2005, at 20:10:27

In reply to sick of sex....., posted by alesta on October 28, 2005, at 10:30:23

Tell him to talk it out with thumbellina and her four sisters.

 

Re: sick of sex..... » alesta

Posted by Damos on October 30, 2005, at 15:02:18

In reply to sick of sex....., posted by alesta on October 28, 2005, at 10:30:23

Hey Amy, nice to see you.

If he disregards your feelings then that's not a good sign. You deserve better than to feel like what you thing, feel, need and want isn't important.

Crazy T, Tamar and Caraher have all said some really good things.

You are not an object or a plaything. Even if you don't have the same long conversations, you deserve to be treated with respect and consideration, invitations not orders.

Hoping you find happiness,
Damos

 

thank you all :-)

Posted by alesta on November 2, 2005, at 10:14:46

In reply to Re: sick of sex..... » alesta, posted by Damos on October 30, 2005, at 15:02:18

thanks again, y'all, for the great comments. i'm just kind of distancing myself right now trying to work this out. and that thumbelina comment was hilarious!:-) i appreciate all you guys so much. i couldn't ask for more helpfulness than that.:)

please take care, and have a great day,
amy



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