![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by halfempty on November 19, 2005, at 16:28:37
Hello, I my husband was killed in Iraq and I have recently fallen for his good friend. I want to sleep with him so badly that it's almost all I can think about. I know that I cannot start a lasting relationship with him, but I have so much sexual tension and he is all I can think about. I know it is inappropriate, but if we are both consentual, is it alright to comfort eachother in this way?
Posted by Larry Hoover on November 19, 2005, at 23:21:49
In reply to Obsessed with late husband's best friend, posted by halfempty on November 19, 2005, at 16:28:37
> I know that I cannot start a lasting relationship
> I know it is inappropriate,[Spock eyebrow] Is he married?
> but if we are both consentual, is it alright to comfort eachother in this way?
If he's not married, I say absolutely all right. You both suffered a loss. There are many levels at which you can comfort one another.
If he's married, it's gonna really hurt at least one somebody. That would be a pretty powerful issue to ignore.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sorry he died in Iraq.
Lar
Posted by lynn971 on November 30, 2005, at 6:34:01
In reply to Re: Obsessed with late husband's best friend » halfempty, posted by Larry Hoover on November 19, 2005, at 23:21:49
I am so sorry that your husband died. For what it is worth I want to thank you and your family for allowing him to serve our country.
I will not get into the whole sex thing because that is complicated.
I dont think that it is wrong to fall for your late husband's friend, assuming he is not married.
Be careful though, this happens often. I was watching the news one day and they were saying thet some women whose husbands (firefighters) had died in 911 were falling for the firefighters who survived because the firemen stuck around to comfort the wives.
Just make sure that your feelings are real and not because he is there to comfort you.
I dont know if this helps.
Luv ya,
Lynn
Posted by JenStar on January 5, 2006, at 13:39:14
In reply to Obsessed with late husband's best friend, posted by halfempty on November 19, 2005, at 16:28:37
hi halfempty,
I'm so sorry your husband died in Iraq.I think one reason people fall for a spouse's friend is that like-minded people often choose to hang out together. You loved your husband, and probably he had good taste in friends; it makes sense that you might become attracted to his friend.
If he's single, it might be OK. If he's married, somebody could get very hurt - probably you would too.
I hope you're doing OK. Can you post an update on how things are going?
take care,
JenStar
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Relationships | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.