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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by llrrrpp on May 22, 2006, at 5:58:43
That I'm crazy?
Apparently the only concept he has of "crazy" is acute psychosis. As long as I still know who I am, and who I'm talking to, then I'm not crazy. I try to tell him how sick I am, and he says that those type of thoughts have always been part of my personality. I've always been kind of pessimistic, and I've always had low self-esteeem. I even told him that I was suicidal, and he cannot even begin to fathom why? He had many good arguments why I should live, and love to live. My personal favorite was this one: (he's so sincere, and so stable and so strong, but I almost wanted to knock him upside the head when he said it.) "You have ME, and I'm a really good husband. I treat you well, and I do the dishes, and do more housework than most other husbands, and I take care of you. I'm good looking, and I'm fun to be around" (yeah, and SO modest...). At the end of this touching little monologue, he had convinced himself that there was a lot to live for, but maybe not me, so much. "Sure honey, go see the shrink, you know I don't believe in that stuff. Depression will be all better when there's nothing to be sad about. I can take away all your stress, and then you'll be all better. I promise...I don't know why you see the shrink, but go ahead, if you think it will help you" (I might as well say: Honey, I'm going to the mall to buy some new shoes, because I'm feeling bad, and need to cheer myself up.-- sure honey, go ahead, whatever makes you feel better...) I'm not feeling understood.
Posted by curtm on May 22, 2006, at 16:59:49
In reply to How can I convince him..., posted by llrrrpp on May 22, 2006, at 5:58:43
I think I'm following you around...funny.
Do you think HE is in denial?
Posted by llrrrpp on May 22, 2006, at 19:42:29
In reply to Re: How can I convince him... » llrrrpp, posted by curtm on May 22, 2006, at 16:59:49
Denial is part of it. Another part of it is that our medical/biologcal concept of depression doesn't translate very well to his culture/language. It's taken me a while to convince him that I'm sick. I think it helped a lot when an M.D. prescribed me medication. pills = illness.
Funny how the multi-culti marriage thing catches me off-guard sometimes. Apparently his culture's theory of depression is that it is just a more extreme kind of sadness, caused by extrinsic factors. Or, it is some variation of a natural personality trait. Which is not altogether untrue, but it's a little too simple, and doesn't suggest any solution, other than to wait it out, or learn to deal with it. I'm just grateful I don't have schizophrenia. Then he might say I was possessed by spirits, and who knows what the solution to that is? Incense? donations? Making merit (creating good Karma?)? In his culture they tend to keep the handicapped (physically and mentally) quietly sequestered behind the closed doors of the family compound, and the mothers of the afflicted individuals wonder what they did in a previous lifetime to deserve this ill-luck. Well, regardless of the cause of depression (maybe my mom offended one of our ancestor spirits? not at all unlikely, I think!), I try to spread good Karma, because you never know...!
Posted by crazy teresa on May 23, 2006, at 8:45:19
In reply to How can I convince him..., posted by llrrrpp on May 22, 2006, at 5:58:43
Would having a medical professional explain the science of depression to him help?
Posted by llrrrpp on May 23, 2006, at 9:38:50
In reply to Re: How can I convince him... » llrrrpp, posted by crazy teresa on May 23, 2006, at 8:45:19
It might. I think I'm making progress. I can talk psychologist talk, so that's something.
This is the end of the thread.
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