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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by curtm on June 7, 2006, at 19:59:19
Since I have been here I have lost at least three dear friends.
James K left unnanounced and never came back.
Pfinsteigg left (my fault- that's what I think so dont argue the point)
Estella got shot in the back emotionally.
No one else leave please.
Posted by Tamar on June 8, 2006, at 4:37:04
In reply to No one else leaves, please., posted by curtm on June 7, 2006, at 19:59:19
I'm also very sad about losing those who have left.
And I know that others have left in addition to those you mentioned. I won't name them, as they haven't chosen to announce their departure here.
I hate losing people. I'm very sad that some people no longer feel safe here. I wish I could fix it.
:(
:(
:(
Posted by ClearSkies on June 8, 2006, at 6:30:53
In reply to No one else leaves, please., posted by curtm on June 7, 2006, at 19:59:19
I was just talking about this in an email to a friend. It's so very sad to see our fellow Babblers depart, for whatever reason. This place changes perpetually (even if the policies don't!) and apart from a few people, the names and faces come and go, and they will continue to do so. I have come to accept that this place just can't be right for everyone.
I've been able to maintain contact with a few Babblers who have left. It's a comfort to have made these friendships through our participation here, and it's part of what keeps me here.ClearSkies
Posted by Tamar on June 8, 2006, at 19:11:06
In reply to Re: No one else leaves, please. » curtm, posted by ClearSkies on June 8, 2006, at 6:30:53
> I have come to accept that this place just can't be right for everyone.
See, that's where I have trouble. I think that if I were to accept that this place can't be right for everyone I'd be condoning the exclusion that can happen here. (That's just how *I* feel; it's not a criticism of your acceptance of the status quo.)
I think about the idea that Babble isn't right for everyone, and it seems the idea entails a kind of inevitability that some people will incur block after block after block and finally leave in great pain. And what have they gained? I worry that perhaps all they gain is much hurt and a reinforcement of the idea that they don't belong.
I can hardly bear seeing some of the pain people feel when they're blocked; pain that is still evident when they return. I'm not saying blocking is inherently a bad idea; I think it's probably necessary sometimes. But I feel a growing sense of being responsible as a community for others who are part of Babble, and I’m becoming increasingly uneasy with the blocks and with the impossibility of offering comfort to blocked posters (unless someone happens to know their email address). And I think it’s particularly hard when people return from blocks because they’re often angry and hurt and might need to be able to talk about that in the community, but if they’re not careful they risk another block and more pain.
I’m not convinced from what I’ve seen here that most people feel they’ve learned anything useful from blocks (though maybe some do). And I’ve always believed in rehabilitation rather than in punishment. So if this place isn’t for everyone, perhaps we’re not doing enough as a community to make sure everyone really can be part of Babble.
I dunno. I’m just uneasy. And I’m posting here instead of Admin because I’m particularly interested in how we relate to each other in the Babble community, and whether we can take communal responsibility for anything. If this place isn’t for everyone, what do we do for the people who very much want to be part of it, but who have difficulties remaining within the guidelines? I guess I just can’t accept that they don’t belong here. I wonder if we could do more to help them participate fully.
Sigh. Lots of questions and no answers.
Posted by Jost on June 11, 2006, at 16:09:01
In reply to Re: No one else leaves, please. » ClearSkies, posted by Tamar on June 8, 2006, at 19:11:06
Why did people leave? why did they get blocked?
On another subcategory of babble, someone got blocked, but it was somewhat confusing. I could kind of see it--but I wouldn't have thought what they wrote would cause that. Maybe there's a history, but...
It's kind of hard to figure out if you're being supportive, or not-- is it that anyone can report you as having somehow violated civility--without your even knowing it? Is it based on the sensibility of the person who doesn't feel supported?
Bob seemed to use the Supreme Court language from a decision about porn--I can't define it, but I know it when I see it---which language was largely rejected as not helpful--although it does express how hard line-drawing sometimes is.
I hate to think that when I write something, my words could seem harsh, or even be a bit harsh, at one point or moment--- even if my overall intention wasn't harsh. And that that could be the basis for my being blocked, if it happened, without my realizing it, a few times. I can get carried away with rhetoric or my own thoughts.
And since you can't take back what you've written here, a momentary lapse of judgment is irreversible.
Hmm. I should be super-careful, I guess. If I'm super-careful, though, I'll never post anything. Hmm.
Jost
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 21, 2006, at 12:34:11
In reply to Re: No one else leaves, please. » ClearSkies, posted by Tamar on June 8, 2006, at 19:11:06
> I feel a growing sense of being responsible as a community for others who are part of Babble, and I’m becoming increasingly uneasy with the blocks and with the impossibility of offering comfort to blocked posters (unless someone happens to know their email address).
>
> if this place isn’t for everyone, perhaps we’re not doing enough as a community to make sure everyone really can be part of Babble.
>
> I’m posting here instead of Admin because I’m particularly interested in how we relate to each other in the Babble community, and whether we can take communal responsibility for anything. If this place isn’t for everyone, what do we do for the people who very much want to be part of it, but who have difficulties remaining within the guidelines? I guess I just can’t accept that they don’t belong here. I wonder if we could do more to help them participate fully.
>
> Sigh. Lots of questions and no answers.Great questions and no obvious answers. Thanks for caring about this community. Have you considered volunteering to be a deputy? I think it’s vital for us to keep thinking about what more we could do, or how we could do things differently, to help as many people as possible take part.
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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