Psycho-Babble Relationships Thread 689085

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dx

Posted by Squiggles on September 25, 2006, at 13:40:27

I have trouble coping with a friend of
mine, regarding my dx. Patricia has
known me for a long time, and is a very
close friend. She does not believe
that I am bipolar and criticizes my doctor,
suggesting that the problem is with my
dr. This causes a lot of anxiety for me and
sometimes makes me doubt myself and the
care i am getting-- which has been excellent
for the past 25 years. I also end up getting
no sympathy or kind treatment for some of the
really rough times i've had.

What should I do? How should I cope with this
relationship? My husband says I should ignore
her, but she is like a sister and a life-long
friend.

Thanks

Squiggles

Re: dx » Squiggles

Posted by Jost on September 25, 2006, at 14:05:48

In reply to dx, posted by Squiggles on September 25, 2006, at 13:40:27

Hi, Squiggles.

Have you and she had a clear discussion about how helpful you find the care you've received?

There are two ways to go that I can think of:

you could try to have a very clear, firm discussion in which you tell her that you have confidence in your dx and treatment, and need her to respect that;

or you could decide (privately) that you don't care what she thinks your dx is, and simply tell her that in times of stress and/or depression, you need her support and kindness. You could say, gently, that sometimes you feel she isn't supportive, and maybe she could do certain things (which you could name) that would feel very good to you at those times.

If she's really persistent about the dx, you could also say, that the dx isn't important, what's important is that you're getting help that you believe you need, and that you hope she can also be there for you.

At least I think that's where I would start. If the relationship is a life-long and close relationship, I wouldn't want to lose it. Yet I also wouldn't want it to undermine something so significant to my well-being as my trust in my treatment.

Jost

Re: dx » Jost

Posted by Squiggles on September 25, 2006, at 14:14:27

In reply to Re: dx » Squiggles, posted by Jost on September 25, 2006, at 14:05:48

> Hi, Squiggles.

Thank you for picking this up Jost.
>
> Have you and she had a clear discussion about how helpful you find the care you've received?

Not really.
>
> There are two ways to go that I can think of:
>
> you could try to have a very clear, firm discussion in which you tell her that you have confidence in your dx and treatment, and need her to respect that;

Yeah, i am afraid that might lead to
conflict.

>
> or you could decide (privately) that you don't care what she thinks your dx is, and simply tell her that in times of stress and/or depression, you need her support and kindness. You could say, gently, that sometimes you feel she isn't supportive, and maybe she could do certain things (which you could name) that would feel very good to you at those times.

That could lead to conflict too, lol :-)

>
> If she's really persistent about the dx, you could also say, that the dx isn't important, what's important is that you're getting help that you believe you need, and that you hope she can also be there for you.

Yeah, i suppose that is non-commital enough.
I would hope for a deeper understanding, but
it's not Wonderland.
>
> At least I think that's where I would start. If the relationship is a life-long and close relationship, I wouldn't want to lose it. Yet I also wouldn't want it to undermine something so significant to my well-being as my trust in my treatment.
>

That's reasonable.

Thank you Jost. Diplomacy - net must
be full of those sites - i'm going there.
Thank you. Frankly, i'd just like to
tell her to **** off, but you know,
diplomacy.

Squiggles

> Jost
>
>

Re: dx » Squiggles

Posted by Jost on September 27, 2006, at 22:16:05

In reply to Re: dx » Jost, posted by Squiggles on September 25, 2006, at 14:14:27

Well, I did leave out one option.

I didn't want to jump the gun-- on it-- since you said your husband was kind of suggesting it---- but-- you could actually just tell her to f*^% off.

Of course, that might also lead to some conflict....

:)/:(

Jost

Re: dx » Jost

Posted by Squiggles on September 28, 2006, at 7:14:59

In reply to Re: dx » Squiggles, posted by Jost on September 27, 2006, at 22:16:05

> Well, I did leave out one option.
>
> I didn't want to jump the gun-- on it-- since you said your husband was kind of suggesting it---- but-- you could actually just tell her to f*^% off.
>
> Of course, that might also lead to some conflict....
>
> :)/:(
>
> Jost

Hee. Yes, it is not diplomatic and diplomacy
is the way to keep the peace, in this and
international politics (e.g. religious insults).
Sometimes, you just want to be natural. But
this is the price of civilization.:-)
But i sincerely appreciate the solidarity.

tx

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