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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LJRen on November 6, 2006, at 23:22:03
Just wanted to unload a little I guess since I can't call my best friend. I miss him so much and it's killing me that I can't contact him in any way. If I break our agreement I may jeopardize our friendship forever. But he's been my confidant for the past 3 years and now suddenly he's not. He's got his own personal problems for the first time ever and I'm not in a good enough place to help him. And I don't want to do anything to hinder him, but damn why does it have to be so hard. I realize life is full of lessons, but why am I always thrown the hardest lessons out there. It really feels like torture sometimes instead of growth.
Ren
Posted by Gabbi~G~ on November 11, 2006, at 11:26:28
In reply to staying away is getting harder to do, posted by LJRen on November 6, 2006, at 23:22:03
Oh Gosh, I wish I'd read this earlier.
I've gone through that twice, and it's excruciating.
It feels like the one little bright spot, the hand to hold, is just gone, and it's (obviously for people like us) agonizing, and a little humiliating. I remember no matter where I was just waiting to come home, to see if maybe he'd written because he missed me, because it's been wow, 26 hours since I last wrote.. and I'm not even kidding!
And somehow, for me anyway, being asked to stop made it worse, at some points I may have gone for a month without writing anyway, but this ..ugh.I honestly thought maybe I could take something that would just make me sleep all the time and then I could stand it.
I've been through it twice, and both times, I didn't know it, I was depressed, when the depression lifted I thought "Omygod, where the hell was my brain at????"
Because depression can be so insidious that way, you don't 'feel' the small things that get other people through the day, you know? Like how good a bath can feel, or how nice something smells, or reading a good book, there's just that ONE person who somehow manages to temporarily cut through the gloom..
You can do it, but for the first while it's like a junkie waiting for a fix, if you can get through that period, it will be okay. Let me know if I can help, this is a situation I can really relate to.
Posted by LJRen on November 20, 2006, at 10:53:24
In reply to Re: staying away is getting harder to do » LJRen, posted by Gabbi~G~ on November 11, 2006, at 11:26:28
> I honestly thought maybe I could take something that would just make me sleep all the time and then I could stand it.
>
Hey, I do sleep whenever I can. It's the only time my brain stops running, running, running. and I stop feeling the pain.> Because depression can be so insidious that way, you don't 'feel' the small things that get other people through the day, you know? Like how good a bath can feel, or how nice something smells, or reading a good book, there's just that ONE person who somehow manages to temporarily cut through the gloom..
>
Why is that? Why does it all hinge on just one person? The one time he finally did call & we talked my life suddenly was at peace - from one stupid 30 min phone call.The fact is, being ingnored strikes to the core of some deep rooted childhood issues of feeling like I never mattered. And so have someone who means so much to me do something so purposely painful, it's beyond what my head can handle. And now, to make matters worse, my cat died last week, and I reached out to him for consolation since he knew the her as well. But again, I have heard nothing in return - no phone call, no email - nothing. To me, it's downright cruel to abandon someone when their cherished pet dies. But it also makes me realize how screwed up in the head he must be for him to do that b/c under normal circumstances he would never do that.
Thanks for your support.
Ren
Posted by Gabbi~G~ on November 22, 2006, at 12:38:10
In reply to Re: staying away is getting harder to do » Gabbi~G~, posted by LJRen on November 20, 2006, at 10:53:24
> Why is that? Why does it all hinge on just one person? The one time he finally did call & we talked my life suddenly was at peace - from one stupid 30 min phone call.
>
I have no idea, I wish I did, there have been times where I thought I needed anti-anxiety medication, and nothing else, and then recieved that phone-call or email, and slept like a baby, until of course, more questions resurface, and you're in agony again. And it *is* that one person.I wish I had more help and less, .. commiseration.
> The fact is, being ingnored strikes to the core of some deep rooted childhood issues of feeling like I never mattered. And so have someone who means so much to me do something so purposely painful, it's beyond what my head can handle. And now, to make matters worse, my cat died last week, and I reached out to him for consolation since he knew the her as well. But again, I have heard nothing in return - no phone call, no email - nothing. To me, it's downright cruel to abandon someone when their cherished pet dies. But it also makes me realize how screwed up in the head he must be for him to do that b/c under normal circumstances he would never do that.
>
> Thanks for your support.
> Ren
>I'm so sorry about your cat, I can relate to that one too. Gosh I'm just sorry, because I know the pain so well.
You have all my support..
Thinking of you (really)
Posted by LJRen on November 23, 2006, at 11:54:09
In reply to Re: staying away is getting harder to do, posted by Gabbi~G~ on November 22, 2006, at 12:38:10
>
> > And now, to make matters worse, my cat died last week, and I reached out to him for consolation since he knew the her as well. But again, I have heard nothing in return - no phone call, no email - nothing. To me, it's downright cruel to abandon someone when their cherished pet dies. But it also makes me realize how screwed up in the head he must be for him to do that b/c under normal circumstances he would never do that.
As par for course, after 2 emails & 2 voice mails asking for condolences over my cat, I finally get a very brief email of one. And once more all is right in the world. Well, not really. It's gonna take a long time to nurse the burn from sticking my hand in that fire. But rest assured, I won't be making that mistake again now that I know how big the fire truly is.> I'm so sorry about your cat, I can relate to that one too. Gosh I'm just sorry, because I know the pain so well.
>
> You have all my support..
>
> Thinking of you (really)
>
>Thank you. I appreciate it.
Ren
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