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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by corafree on November 7, 2006, at 14:57:55
I told ICM I'd never completely trust him, I was tired of his showing up way late all the time, tired of his need/focus on/for 'a clump of peeps/fam' he kept me separate from, tired of his seeking praise for every little thing, sorry I was probably using him for company as was so lonely, and then, becuz' he was tryin' to talk me out of it, acted like a real bi*ch and said in an evil manner, 'Just Get Away From Me!' in a clear, cold, concise manner.
He's stolen so many things from me. He's lied so much. He often looked like was tweaking and I couldn't tell ... mania or tweaking ... which was it? Was afraid to ask him to drug test here at home becuz' he'd throw a fit and the whole condo assoc. would hear it and he'd hit me w/ a heavy guilt trip! Then, 'the first time I'd ever experienced this one'; he cheated on me.
Now I'm cryin' and lonely and have no IRL friends and fam' is too busy here and fam away from here don't want me anymore (incl. mo*her), and my father is gone, and I feel like curling up and fading away.
Why can't I just be one of those that gets real angry and goes out and finds someone else with which to enjoy life?
Why do I have to get into such long-term and in-depth relationships?
It's like I take 'em in and fix 'em up, then turn them away. Then like now, I feel a need for them.
Anyway, I'm feelin' sorry for self and sad and, okay, guess can call it 'deeply depressed'.
I think, did what was right.
Got to get him out of my head/heart/bedroom!!
elevenyears, cf
Posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 23:40:33
In reply to Ended bad relationship and feel terrible!, posted by corafree on November 7, 2006, at 14:57:55
Yes you did the right thing. I'm sorry you're so sad. Love Phillipa
Posted by LJRen on November 8, 2006, at 0:19:50
In reply to Ended bad relationship and feel terrible!, posted by corafree on November 7, 2006, at 14:57:55
Rest assured, you did do the right thing for yourself. If nothing else helps make you feel better then repeat, "I did the right thing for me" over & over again.
At times like this it is so very hard to forget the things that got him into your heart to begin with. Those things always seem to come back to make you doubt your actions of breaking it off or simply make the repercussive emotions that much more painful. But if you can just get through this initial agonizing period w/o returning to him, then you can move on and perhaps start figuring out how or why you end up in these type of relationships. But I know right now is excruciating. I've been there too many times to count. Cried oceans of tears. If you've been through this type of thing in the past then you know that eventually you'll get through this. You've made it out before, you can make it again. Unfortunately, life will keep throwing us the same darn lessons until we finally learn them.
Take care. Keep writing here whenever you need.
Ren
Posted by corafree on November 8, 2006, at 9:45:17
In reply to Re: Ended bad relationship and feel terrible! » corafree, posted by Phillipa on November 7, 2006, at 23:40:33
I know, but now I'm gonna' be 'a lonely little girl' all winter long. How will I stand it?
cf
Posted by corafree on November 8, 2006, at 10:12:13
In reply to Re: Ended bad relationship and feel terrible! » corafree, posted by LJRen on November 8, 2006, at 0:19:50
I'm gonna' type I DID THE RIGHT THING IN in huge letters and put it on my fridg.
tks, cf
Posted by LJRen on November 8, 2006, at 23:40:43
In reply to Re: Ended bad relationship and feel terrible! » LJRen, posted by corafree on November 8, 2006, at 10:12:13
> I'm gonna' type I DID THE RIGHT THING IN in huge letters and put it on my fridg.
>
> tks, cfthat'a girl! :)
take care,
Ren
Posted by Lindenblüte on November 12, 2006, at 10:14:50
In reply to Re: Ended bad relationship and feel terrible! » corafree, posted by LJRen on November 8, 2006, at 23:40:43
corafree-
you did the right thing.
Icecreamman is kind of toxic, just like ice cream. looks good tastes good, but has very bad side effects, including obesity, diabetes, toothdecay and heart disease.I'm sorry you're feeling lonely. Now maybe you have more time and energy to do some things you've been putting off for a while? What are your thanksgiving plans? Can you clean your place up, or maybe get your hair done? Extra time to put together that photoalbum that has been sitting in a box since Easter, 2003?
Try to stay busy and remember that you are not the solution to someone else's problem. You are your own solution to your life's challenges. You've done really well, given all the stuff that you've had to deal with. It must feel foreign to be FREE for once. Not quite sure what you should do with yourself? Well, there's all kinds of things you can do that are positive. Howabout if you spend a little time researching different charities in your area and schedule a good deed to do during the holiday season? Scoop mashed potatoes at a shelter, organize your closet and donate winter clothing to a local charity? Become someone's secret santa and give an elder a nice gift, or toys for tots?
Hang in there- write little positive reminders EVERYWHERE if you need to.
Ice cream man will move on soon, and that's for the best. Trust me- trust your gut.
-Li
Posted by corafree on November 12, 2006, at 13:03:19
In reply to Re: Ended bad relationship and feel terrible!, posted by Lindenblüte on November 12, 2006, at 10:14:50
You know that it won't be that easy for me, don't you?
It's strange how we almost know each other better here, 'w/o being face to face'?
Thank you for all the time you put into explaining this the way you did. It is a craving. Hard to fight. Find a 'good' distraction. No punishing self.
cf
Posted by Lindenblüte on November 12, 2006, at 13:09:10
In reply to Re: Ended bad relationship and feel terrible! » Lindenblüte, posted by corafree on November 12, 2006, at 13:03:19
> You know that it won't be that easy for me, don't you?
I know. it's REALLY hard. Every day seems to bring a new struggle. Just hang in there, okay?
> It's strange how we almost know each other better here, 'w/o being face to face'?
yeah :)
> Thank you for all the time you put into explaining this the way you did. It is a craving. Hard to fight. Find a 'good' distraction. No punishing self.
>Cravings ARE bad. distract DISTRACT!!! yikes. Keep posting. As long as your fingers are busy typing, they won't be busy phoning or text-messaging ice-cream man. Take him OFF of your frequently called numbers list. Call a buddy. Offer to walk someone's dog. I dunno. braid your toenail hair?
-Li
Posted by corafree on November 12, 2006, at 13:54:24
In reply to Re: Ended bad relationship and feel terrible!, posted by Lindenblüte on November 12, 2006, at 13:09:10
I don't have any hair on my toe 'nail', and I shave my toe hair! Do you?
I'm motivated. I've already done something good and have another one planned.
UR2much.thankyou, cf
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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